I only do the dusting when it rains - Bullet proof...I wish I was -

Today’s rain comes from a distant past
and brings the smell of my first fall
The room vibrates with Radiohead
Bullet proof...I wish I was

“Don’t focus on the bullets”,
I say
“But on the pain”.

Today’s the day I recollect the scars
I mould them one by one
and place them on the shelf
it’s so much easier
talking to something that has a shape
My words are tired to be shattered
by the stillness of the walls
I need the sound of water to silence
the crystal pieces when they fall
Therefore, I only do the dusting
when it rains.

So pay me money and take a shot
Lead-fill the hole in me*

The lead is too heavy for our bodies
we are machines designed to leak
Thus, liquid is the tool to calm the pain
we fill and drain our holes repeatedly
with raindrops
cleansing
We couldn’t live without the emptiness
without the Sun
whose heat makes the water’s army to retreat.
I’ll let the bullets hit me
I need as much holes as my body can expose
but when my holes are empty

bullet proof... I wish I was.

*lyrics from “Bullet Proof... I wish I was” – Radiohead

(10.June.2011)